If you haven't read any of my previous blogs (and it's totally ok if you haven't!), I have very minimal cerebral palsy. I walk with a limp...and with exercise, it's almost unnoticeable. But when I'm not exercising properly, it can be a struggle to move. Think of it like this...my muscles naturally are like a rubber band stretched to capacity. They're super tight all the time. When I exercise and stretch, the tension eases off that "rubber band", but then I have to work harder to strengthen the muscles. When I don't exercise, my muscles simply get tighter. Imagine pushing on that "stretched-to-capacity rubber band" and how difficult it would be to move. That's currently where my body is. Thanks to a myriad of reasons over this past year, my mobility spiraled downward and no one can pinpoint why. This year, I'm focused on reclaiming my mobility and my life, even if it means adjusting to new things. I have actually designated "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten as my personal theme song this year (the "take back my life" song!). I have always had a positive outlook concerning my disability and am very proud of the things I have accomplished in my life that most said I never would be able to do. But there's always ups and downs...and it can be tough to stay in the fight sometimes, especially if we're fighting alone and we just want to go "back to normal". That said, we can't ever go "back to normal" because, honestly, that would mean we'd have to find some kind of time machine, right? So, we must adopt a "new normal". I have said this constantly in my 13 years of work with the military and military families.
Part of my "new normal" came recently when I was traveling for work. I work for the Marine Corps and was traveling with some Marines in my battalion. I had to get wheelchair assistance in the airport as my legs just would not make the journey to the gate. This is not the first time this has happened in my 43 years, but given my independence and stubborness, it is always a gigantic pill to swallow. This time, it was unusually hard for me and I found myself feeling very embarrassed...almost as if I'd let "my" Marines down...that I let myself down...and that I let my Grandpa (my favorite Marine) down. This cloud hung over my head as I was being wheeled to security. Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself instead of recognizing it as a piece of the way I'd always been raised to believe that "I could do anything anybody else could do, I just may have to do it a little differently." Looking back, though, I think some of my emotion came from looks I was given and ways I was talked to...which opened my eyes to a whole new set of issues! Conversation for another day! ;)
What happened next was a life-changing moment for me. When we got to security, there was a man in a wheelchair in front of me. On the back of his chair was a US Army patch and a US Olympic Team patch. I was elated to see this as I knew it would be someone I could most likely relate to in some way, but was SUPER interested in hearing about the Olympic team patch! So...naturally, I initiated conversation. This man is a retired Army Sgt, wounded in combat and an amputee. In a short amount of time...in the security line at the airport...we talked about his service, my service (both for the Marine Corps as well as my community) and our passions for serving, our disabilities and challenges that they bring, but also how we have overcome them. He talked about how he fought "the chair" because "he could walk just fine on his prosthetic", until a couple of years ago when his doctor explained the long-term damage that could cause. Now he sees the strength in using the chair. So...the Olympic team?? Yeah, that's a real thing!! He competes in handcycling...and he's awesome at it!! It's his passion and he had just finished competing in 2 races and was heading home.
I believe paths cross for a reason...and I'm sure he has no clue how he touched my life that day! I was feeling so very low...embarrassed, among other things. That short conversation I had with him truly put the wind back in my wings so I could lift my head and be confident and proud again. Because, you see, I identified with him. Different circumstances, obviously, but similar mindsets. I knew he "got" me...and he knew the same about me. I know his road has not been an easy one - this is true for anyone who lives with disability of any kind - and I know that he probably didn't always have the mentality he does now. But I also know that he got to where he is today by doing the physical and mental work it took to get there...and no one could do that for him. To me, Sgt Anthony Robinson, is a hero! I'm privileged to know many like him...but that day, he was also MY hero because he completely changed my mindset. There is a saying about the "battlefield of the mind"...and that day, he was my "battle buddy", even if he never knew it. My life was blessed that day...in one brief conversation...and for some reason, he said the same! God knows why...and I thank Him for it!
So, please remember when you're interacting with others, that you never know what that other person is going through...and who knows? YOU might be their hero that day.
I was honored to have my picture made with Sgt Anthony Robinson! Thank you for this moment in my life, sir!
The following is an excerpt from the Facebook page of Why I Ride, and the truest example of why I say we have very similar mindsets:
