Since we recently celebrated Easter/Resurrection Sunday, I can't think of a better time to "resurrect" my blog and to share some of what's been on my heart recently. Easter is slowly becoming my favorite holiday (not quite yet on par with Christmas!) because of the renewed HOPE that fills me, and gives me a totally fresh outlook on life as I watch new life spring forth all around me (yes, pun intended! Lol). But, mostly, I'm inspired because of what my Savior went through for me, even begging our Father to "let this cup pass from him", at one point. I'm quite sure he was scared at times, and didn't want to be tortured in the way that he knew was inevitable, yet He still took on all that...for ME, for ALL of us! He experienced immeasurable pain, suffering, and ultimately death in order that you and I could spend eternity with Him. (Talk about ultimate humbling!!) BUT...(and it's a big one!)...He didn't stay there! He rose from the grave...and LIVES today!! THAT excites me more than just about anything!! The grace and mercy he pours out on me daily...I just can't comprehend. But that's the beauty of it...I don't have to because it's a GIFT! All I have to do is accept it. Which brings me to the point of today's blog...
I recently attended a funeral of someone who took his own life. I have struggled over this, at times, wondering if there was something I could've done differently to help. My "big brother" (no blood relation, but family nonetheless) took his life nearly 4 years ago and I still struggle with that at times. I want so desperately for people to understand that taking your life is truly a permanent solution to a temporary problem! Maybe that sounds cliche, but it's something I've experienced to be true. I have struggled with depression in different seasons of my life and I KNOW that while you're in that mindset, it seems like whatever is happening in your life will be that way forever, that there's no end in sight. I also know that it's a real and viscious cycle to get out of. There's no right or wrong solution to this problem...the only thing that matters is what will work for you. For me, I go back to the story of the crucifixion, of THAT pain and suffering, and I'm instantly reminded that there IS light at the end of that proverbial tunnel...and it's proven in the resurrection!! All I have to do is receive/accept it. Psalm 71 has become very fitting for me recently...but specifically verse 14 which says, "as for me, I will always have hope." Does that mean I will never lose my way at times (make bad choices, poor judgment calls, give in to temptations, etc)?? No...absolutely not. I'm human. What it does mean, for me, is that I KNOW that He will guide me back to the path He's laid out for me when I'm ready to accept His guidance. That whole "having faith" thing? Yeah, that's me continuing to put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward when some days I can't even see where I'm stepping. Some days those steps of faith are leaps and bounds...and other days, tiny baby steps. Either way, I'm still moving forward...and BELIEVING the good things my God has in store for me.
So, I say this to you: HOPE=Hold On, Pain Ends. It's a season...and it's temporary. Do what you need to do to take care of you. Reach out and talk to someone...anyone...that you trust! That light will once again shine through your tunnel...but you have to hold on to HOPE, wherever that may come from...and DON'T STOP BELIEVIN' (hold on to that feelin'!)'!!!
Much love to you all, friends!
Kati
PS - this blog is a work in progress, so bear with me through the changes! I promise it will be worth it! :)
